Antisocial
Ah, so the Husband & I had a tremendous row last week. It's all fixed up now, FOR now, we'll see, but basically it amounted my dismay over his issue of being extremely antisocial & never ever wanting to do a damn thing. He's a homebody, safe in his element, content to have me & the beasts as his entire social life. However, he works with quite a few characters that probably ease his social needs while the extent of my social activities is the emails I exchange with a couple different people, my friends Stace & Toni Tony (who lives in NYC), my mom, my two co-workers & my husband. I could never be mistaken for a social butterfly like Stace, and I do admit to being fairly antisocial, but I think humans require interaction from time to time to keep them from turning into backwards Crazy Ass Cat Ladies (see previous posts haha!) or from going nuts. I think I'm working on both.
The last time we went to a party was a gathering of four with - you guessed it, Stace, Scott, another good guy friend, Noel, & two dogs, in May, and before that it was LAST AUGUST. And the folks who's party it was last August, well, I haven't seen them since. Now it's July, almost a year later, & that's a little ridiculous for people I've been friends with for nearly a decade. These good friends stick with us tho', and I've explained the issue to the male half & he understands & continues to invite us to things. I told S I'd be damned if I'd grow old & friendless, which he seems perfectly content to do, and that things HAD to change. As the late great Hunter S. Thompson said, "Be sure to pick up a few good friends along the way because they can really dress up your life later on." I tend to think this is a good philosophy. All I really want is the occasional get-together, a movie once in a while, and a road trip south to visit some new friends. I don't want to go out every weekend, I don't need to be taken out to fine restaurants & spoiled (for fuck's sake NO), I don't need to attend every function of everybody, just occasional exposure to people I want to be around. I need input. Writers do. It's just that way.
The subject has been broached before, but never with such fury & satisfactory outcome. This particular instance started with Stace & I exchanging emails in which I vented my frustration about his lack of desire to do anything & Stace's wise responses, and then I printed this discussion & handed it to him since I'm much better at writing calmly than speaking calmly & I thought it was the best way to go. However, since he automatically assumes everything is his fault, which is NOT what I was saying - hell, it's my fault for putting up with it this long, but it HAD to be addressed, and, him being the drama queen, hurled one of my favorite cooking pots to the floor & dented it, which earned him an absolutely livid attack on his arm from me as well as a thorough ear-crushing banshee shriek & ensuing lecture, which nearly resulted in him leaving shoeless (the said shoes being beaten solidly against the wall by me to emphasize my point & childishness & he wasn't about to try to take them from me) to do whatever it is that angry people do when they leave. The pot was dented, he regretted it because he likes the pot, too (did we ever think we'd feel this way about a cooking implement? No.), and he apologized. I said I was sorry for being a psycho, but I told him I absolutely refused to apologize for saying the things I said (which were all true, just a little heated & possibly mildly exaggerated) to make him see my point, which he eventually got after we both managed to calm down.
Why does it have to be that way? We don't fight that often - the last time was over a bottle of Worcestershire sauce which ended with a pot of browned beef being dumped in the sink (by me, lest you think he's the only one capable of such immature actions) and then us making up & eating the meat after it was carefully spooned back out, and that may've been over two years ago, but when we do - hooooo boy it's nasty. And fights are funny, all that screaming & eyes flashing & pissed-off regrettable comments, then it dissolves into sniffling apologies & hugs & trembling, adrenalized limbs. But why do I have to raise such a fuss just to get him to see my point? Granted, it works, but I'd much prefer to talk & keep the pots & pans safe. I don't think I'll need to cause such a commotion again. He seems to understand my very real wish for people & interaction now, and I accept many things about him just as he does about me so there's no need to fight about them. Yet.
On Sunday he obliged me by going to a matinee & eating Mexican afterwards, and he's agreed to try very hard to do things without being a wretch about it. Like I told Stace, after the fight we made a cheesecake & lived happily ever after. The cheesecake was pretty damned good, too.
So, with that in mind, watch out, D & E! A meeting is nigh!
The last time we went to a party was a gathering of four with - you guessed it, Stace, Scott, another good guy friend, Noel, & two dogs, in May, and before that it was LAST AUGUST. And the folks who's party it was last August, well, I haven't seen them since. Now it's July, almost a year later, & that's a little ridiculous for people I've been friends with for nearly a decade. These good friends stick with us tho', and I've explained the issue to the male half & he understands & continues to invite us to things. I told S I'd be damned if I'd grow old & friendless, which he seems perfectly content to do, and that things HAD to change. As the late great Hunter S. Thompson said, "Be sure to pick up a few good friends along the way because they can really dress up your life later on." I tend to think this is a good philosophy. All I really want is the occasional get-together, a movie once in a while, and a road trip south to visit some new friends. I don't want to go out every weekend, I don't need to be taken out to fine restaurants & spoiled (for fuck's sake NO), I don't need to attend every function of everybody, just occasional exposure to people I want to be around. I need input. Writers do. It's just that way.
The subject has been broached before, but never with such fury & satisfactory outcome. This particular instance started with Stace & I exchanging emails in which I vented my frustration about his lack of desire to do anything & Stace's wise responses, and then I printed this discussion & handed it to him since I'm much better at writing calmly than speaking calmly & I thought it was the best way to go. However, since he automatically assumes everything is his fault, which is NOT what I was saying - hell, it's my fault for putting up with it this long, but it HAD to be addressed, and, him being the drama queen, hurled one of my favorite cooking pots to the floor & dented it, which earned him an absolutely livid attack on his arm from me as well as a thorough ear-crushing banshee shriek & ensuing lecture, which nearly resulted in him leaving shoeless (the said shoes being beaten solidly against the wall by me to emphasize my point & childishness & he wasn't about to try to take them from me) to do whatever it is that angry people do when they leave. The pot was dented, he regretted it because he likes the pot, too (did we ever think we'd feel this way about a cooking implement? No.), and he apologized. I said I was sorry for being a psycho, but I told him I absolutely refused to apologize for saying the things I said (which were all true, just a little heated & possibly mildly exaggerated) to make him see my point, which he eventually got after we both managed to calm down.
Why does it have to be that way? We don't fight that often - the last time was over a bottle of Worcestershire sauce which ended with a pot of browned beef being dumped in the sink (by me, lest you think he's the only one capable of such immature actions) and then us making up & eating the meat after it was carefully spooned back out, and that may've been over two years ago, but when we do - hooooo boy it's nasty. And fights are funny, all that screaming & eyes flashing & pissed-off regrettable comments, then it dissolves into sniffling apologies & hugs & trembling, adrenalized limbs. But why do I have to raise such a fuss just to get him to see my point? Granted, it works, but I'd much prefer to talk & keep the pots & pans safe. I don't think I'll need to cause such a commotion again. He seems to understand my very real wish for people & interaction now, and I accept many things about him just as he does about me so there's no need to fight about them. Yet.
On Sunday he obliged me by going to a matinee & eating Mexican afterwards, and he's agreed to try very hard to do things without being a wretch about it. Like I told Stace, after the fight we made a cheesecake & lived happily ever after. The cheesecake was pretty damned good, too.
So, with that in mind, watch out, D & E! A meeting is nigh!
posted by RCSure | 10:33 AM
4 Comments:
:::waving hand in the air for attention:::
If you are heading this way to meet E and D, then I'll be at their house waiting...that is, if you don't mind. They, however, have no choice. :) I know where they live after all.
I'm looking forward to it, too!
And OF COURSE I don't mind if you show up, southernwoman! I'd love to meet you, too! But it might not happen if D&E give me the wrong directions & I end up in Arkansas or something.... because I don't know where they live. And, since I beat shoes on the wall, they may not want me there after all. :)
Beelers beat a shoe on the wall just last night! He was my savior and killed a spider. He bitched and moaned and didn't want to do it, but Tammy whipped off her Berk and he commenced to beating.
Ah... a good fight. B and I don't have those, we are very calm and civilized. My mom was here one day when he and I were having one of our tifts. My mom said "You're not doing it right" and told us we needed to scream and throw things. My mom would be proud of ya'll because you are doing it right.
Yes, a meeting is nigh. I'd like ya'll to come here, having a pool and all and Chattanooga is soooo pretty, However, we can meet half way. Let's look to see what coolness we could find.
Coolness abounds, does it not? If nothing else, we can pinpoint Louisville & the Brown Hotel - maybe not as interesting for you, Miss D, but I think you'd be outnumbered.... ;)
I'd love to make it down to your place tho', in all honesty. I've never spent time in GA, never been to Chattanooga, so I think it'd be a good thing. And, you've never been to the grand *cough* state of Ohio, but I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for all of this & that & things in between.
We just need to get our "new" car up & road-worthy, that's the plan. Not that the Goat wouldn't make it, at least I'd like to think it would, but the car will be better on gas & comfier. And it has a sunroof, an essential for a roadtrip!
Hm... S & I are usually civilized, and there have been only 4 or 5 things thrown in our history - not sure the meat counts - it was more of a dump. Usually shoes are thrown out of frustration, but the pot... that was bad. In fact, I had to use that pot just last night & of course had to mention the dent much to his mortification.... Can't resist that salt in the wound! Glad to know we do it up proper tho'. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home