A Quick Call & Disappearing Ears

This morning I'm in the bathroom, frantically trying to beat my mane into submission, and I hear the phone ring & can tell it's Mom. I ignore it because she always calls around the time of the morning when I'm just trying to get out of the house. A few minutes pass and it rings again. "Great," I think. "She's broke down somewhere - better answer it." So, I fetch it, answer it, she jovially starts talking, "I just wanted to give you a quick call!" which is what she always prefaces her longest calls with. "I've just been sitting here reading Breath (Breath of Snow & Ashes) & got to the part blah blah blah & I just had to know if it gets referred to again later in the book because I'm afraid to keep reading!" I'm like, "Are you SERIOUS???? You're not bleeding from the face or broke down in the ditch?" Also, she knows I'm not going to tell her what happens in the book. She cheerily replies, "Nope! Just wanted to talk about the book!" At 9:30. On a Monday morning. When she has called in the past only to be greeted by my exasperated voice. What the hell?? And to boot (no pun intended), I was hurrying around with the phone clasped to my ear having this conversation and I pulled on the wrong shoes! Once again, I put on the old, comfy, muddy yard shoes that have lived on the back porch thru rain & frost for the past two weeks & just recently have been permitted back in the house after drying. On my feet right now. At least today I'm not wearing shorts like I was during the wretched humid summer months when I mistakenly put on these hot, suedish shoes without socks and stomped around a small, touristy farm town. I'm sure I was quite stylish. Anyway. She needs a hobby. She really does!

Also - we did go up to the former White Swan, now known as Bluegills, for the final night. This little backroads bar has been a staple in my life since I moved here at the age of 13 & learned to play pool on its ragged felt table. Later in life I spent many a drunken night there singing karaoke and dancing on bars. Now, due to a broken well and expensive alternative water source, it's closing its doors and being sold to the State since they've wanted that spot for some time. It was PACKED to the gills (again - no pun intended!) with yahoos & derelicts of all genders and ages. I even had a guy grind up on me right in front of Scott (which he found quite amusing) and cause me to trip over another dude while I was backpedalling trying to get away. The dude I tripped over apologized profusely for having his foot where I stumbled while the grinder jigged away, a beer in either hand. His friend apologized to me as well, "He's REALLY drunk". No shit! But, Lou, my stepdad and Mom's ex-husband (I don't consider him my ex-stepdad tho' - he's been my father for too long) was there and Mom sat there silently, staring ahead and nursing a beer, while we chatted with Lou over the earsplitting country music from the jukebox. Interesting. We stayed for 2 tallboys & then bolted. One funny thing with Lou is that he realized some time ago that he was packing on the pounds and he was quite unhappy. He's always been a fit fellow - in fact, Stace went so far as to say he was "hot" which is something a kid can't comprehend about her parent. So, he lost the weight and has maintained his fighting weight for several months now and is quite proud that he can fit back into his old size tho' he had to buy a whole new wardrobe because he gave his old one away after gaining the weight. The funny thing was this - he said he realized "it was time to lose the weight when [he] couldn't see his ears". Mom and I nearly shot beer out of our nose laughing at that one - couldn't see his ears! Usually it's when you can't see your feet! So, he had to point out how close his ears fit to his head & that when his cheeks starting chubbing out his ears disappeared. I laughed so hard I hurt. Scott & I may head out there this weekend or next for some pool playing. I feel bad for not going out there, I really do. He's a good old guy, just set in his ways. "The liberal Democrats are taking over the country!" he roared. As Scott & I kept our mouths shut & tried to find the wallpaper interesting. Obviously politics is a subject to be avoided.